Finding grace in the equine kingdom.

There is something magical about a girl and her horse. It’s a pure energy that fulfills the primal need to share secrets, to love and be loved unconditionally, and to experience life as it is intended to be – free, beautiful, and joyful. It’s an incredible feeling that is difficult to describe to someone who is not enamored with the equine species, but let me try.

I have always loved horses, for reasons I can't really explain. When I was a young girl, my family would travel by car to visit my grandmother in Canada. Back then, this was a 8 hour drive on a good day. We traveled on back roads from our home, often leaving at 4 AM on a cold winter’s night so we could arrive in time to join in the holiday festivities at Granny’s. Having nothing better to do sitting next to my brother in the back seat of our sedan, I would stare out the window at the countryside. As we puttered down the road I would imagine that I was riding a beautiful horse in the fields – jumping over walls and riding the wind. It was a fantasy and like every little girl I’ve ever known, finding a pony under the Christmas tree was an unspoken but heartfelt wish. One I knew even Santa couldn’t possibly fulfill.

I grew up in a small family – just me and my brother for 12 years until another little brother appeared on the scene. My father was a laborer who worked two jobs to support his small family. My mother also worked, first as a seamstress in a dress shop and then as a laborer herself with a local electronics firm. We were always loved and well taken care of by our parents. There was a great deal of love and laughter in our family, but no extra money for music lessons, summer camp, or horse riding lessons. My horse riding remained a secret wish until I was old enough to work and pay for my own lessons – which I did for a while until work, marriage, and family became my priorities. But the horses always tugged at my heart and pranced through my dreams. Always.

Life has a way of moving on and I found myself a grown woman, with a child away at college – I was alone and I longed for something I couldn’t name. I happened to pick up a book at the local bookstore and started to read the first few pages. The image on the cover had captured my attention. A black horse, mane flying in the wind on a blue background. It was beautiful. I bought the book and read it in two days and then found myself compelled to call a local therapeutic riding center to see if they could use another volunteer to help with the children. The answer was of course, yes – please come – and I did. And my life was transformed.

I learned how horses have an incredible ability to bring out the best in us. The children gained confidence and learned that despite their disabilities – they were capable, courageous, and resilient. Some found laughter for the first time in their young lives on the backs of their four-legged friends. It was magical.

Once I made friends with this amazing species I was hooked. At the age of 56 I was taking weekly riding lessons, making new friends, competing in local horse shows and just having fun. I wanted to learn everything about horses – their care, how to ride well, what they needed or wanted from us as humans. The horses had not only captured my heart, they entwined themselves around my very soul. And the day came, as it inevitably comes for all horse people – when I decided I wanted one to call my own.

It was a valiant attempt. I rode everything that came my way. I tried at least 4 times to purchase my dream horse to no avail. Each had a medical issue that made it unsuitable. I didn’t understand. And then, life events caused me to sell my home and I moved to Texas. Little did I know at the time that the universe was responding to my wish. I found my dream horse within a month of moving here.  

To people who have no experience with horses, it’s difficult to explain the allure of riding an unpredictable, 1200 pound, high-energy animal. You feel powerful but vulnerable. You’re calm but your heart is pounding. Your goal is to become one with your horse – feeling each pounding hoof as if it’s your own, as you dance around the arena, leaving the world behind. For the intelligent, compassionate equestrian, each ride is a great ride – whether or not you achieve a particular movement - because you know that tomorrow you’ll ride again.

I heard a small child once say to his little puppy, “you smell like love.” I never forgot that, because to me – my horse smells like love. Hay and sweet feed smell like love. Leather smells like love. A freshly cut field smells like love. Being this close to the raw beauty of nature is quite intoxicating. This is where peace, love, and grace quietly reside and wait patiently for your arrival.

If I’m dreaming, I don’t want to wake up – unless of course there are horses there too. You see, I’ve discovered that horses love everyone – even women of a certain age.