Finding grace in the equine kingdom.
There is
something magical about a girl and her horse. It’s a pure energy that fulfills
the primal need to share secrets, to love and be loved unconditionally, and to
experience life as it is intended to be – free, beautiful, and joyful. It’s an
incredible feeling that is difficult to describe to someone who is not enamored
with the equine species, but let me try.
I have
always loved horses, for reasons I can't really explain. When I was a young girl, my family would travel by car to
visit my grandmother in Canada. Back then, this was a 8 hour drive on a good
day. We traveled on back roads from our home, often leaving at 4 AM on a cold
winter’s night so we could arrive in time to join in the holiday festivities at
Granny’s. Having nothing better to do sitting next to my brother in the back seat
of our sedan, I would stare out the window at the countryside. As we puttered
down the road I would imagine that I was riding a beautiful horse in the fields
– jumping over walls and riding the wind. It was a fantasy and like every
little girl I’ve ever known, finding a pony under the Christmas tree was an
unspoken but heartfelt wish. One I knew even Santa couldn’t possibly fulfill.
I grew up in
a small family – just me and my brother for 12 years until another little
brother appeared on the scene. My father was a laborer who worked two jobs to
support his small family. My mother also worked, first as a seamstress in a
dress shop and then as a laborer herself with a local electronics firm. We were
always loved and well taken care of by our parents. There was a great deal of
love and laughter in our family, but no extra money for music lessons, summer
camp, or horse riding lessons. My horse riding remained a secret wish until I
was old enough to work and pay for my own lessons – which I did for a while
until work, marriage, and family became my priorities. But the horses always tugged
at my heart and pranced through my dreams. Always.
Life has a
way of moving on and I found myself a grown woman, with a child away at college
– I was alone and I longed for something I couldn’t name. I happened to pick up
a book at the local bookstore and started to read the first few pages. The
image on the cover had captured my attention. A black horse, mane flying in the
wind on a blue background. It was beautiful. I bought the book and read it in
two days and then found myself compelled to call a local therapeutic riding
center to see if they could use another volunteer to help with the children.
The answer was of course, yes – please come – and I did. And my life was transformed.
I learned
how horses have an incredible ability to bring out the best in us. The children
gained confidence and learned that despite their disabilities – they were
capable, courageous, and resilient. Some found laughter for the first time in
their young lives on the backs of their four-legged friends. It was magical.
Once I made
friends with this amazing species I was hooked. At the age of 56 I was taking
weekly riding lessons, making new friends, competing in local horse shows and
just having fun. I wanted to learn everything about horses – their care, how to
ride well, what they needed or wanted from us as humans. The horses had not
only captured my heart, they entwined themselves around my very soul. And the
day came, as it inevitably comes for all horse people – when I decided I wanted
one to call my own.
It was a
valiant attempt. I rode everything that came my way. I tried at least 4 times
to purchase my dream horse to no avail. Each had a medical issue that made it
unsuitable. I didn’t understand. And then, life events caused me to sell my
home and I moved to Texas. Little did I know at the time that the universe was responding
to my wish. I found my dream horse within a month of moving here.
To people
who have no experience with horses, it’s difficult to explain the allure of riding
an unpredictable, 1200 pound, high-energy animal. You feel powerful but
vulnerable. You’re calm but your heart is pounding. Your goal is to become one
with your horse – feeling each pounding hoof as if it’s your own, as you dance
around the arena, leaving the world behind. For the intelligent, compassionate
equestrian, each ride is a great ride – whether or not you achieve a particular
movement - because you know that tomorrow you’ll ride again.
I heard a
small child once say to his little puppy, “you smell like love.” I never forgot
that, because to me – my horse smells like love. Hay and sweet feed smell like
love. Leather smells like love. A freshly cut field smells like love. Being
this close to the raw beauty of nature is quite intoxicating. This is where peace,
love, and grace quietly reside and wait patiently for your arrival.
If I’m
dreaming, I don’t want to wake up – unless of course there are horses there
too. You see, I’ve discovered that horses love everyone – even women of a
certain age.
