Finding grace in the equine kingdom.

There is something magical about a girl and her horse. It’s a pure energy that fulfills the primal need to share secrets, to love and be loved unconditionally, and to experience life as it is intended to be – free, beautiful, and joyful. It’s an incredible feeling that is difficult to describe to someone who is not enamored with the equine species, but let me try.

I have always loved horses, for reasons I can't really explain. When I was a young girl, my family would travel by car to visit my grandmother in Canada. Back then, this was a 8 hour drive on a good day. We traveled on back roads from our home, often leaving at 4 AM on a cold winter’s night so we could arrive in time to join in the holiday festivities at Granny’s. Having nothing better to do sitting next to my brother in the back seat of our sedan, I would stare out the window at the countryside. As we puttered down the road I would imagine that I was riding a beautiful horse in the fields – jumping over walls and riding the wind. It was a fantasy and like every little girl I’ve ever known, finding a pony under the Christmas tree was an unspoken but heartfelt wish. One I knew even Santa couldn’t possibly fulfill.

I grew up in a small family – just me and my brother for 12 years until another little brother appeared on the scene. My father was a laborer who worked two jobs to support his small family. My mother also worked, first as a seamstress in a dress shop and then as a laborer herself with a local electronics firm. We were always loved and well taken care of by our parents. There was a great deal of love and laughter in our family, but no extra money for music lessons, summer camp, or horse riding lessons. My horse riding remained a secret wish until I was old enough to work and pay for my own lessons – which I did for a while until work, marriage, and family became my priorities. But the horses always tugged at my heart and pranced through my dreams. Always.

Life has a way of moving on and I found myself a grown woman, with a child away at college – I was alone and I longed for something I couldn’t name. I happened to pick up a book at the local bookstore and started to read the first few pages. The image on the cover had captured my attention. A black horse, mane flying in the wind on a blue background. It was beautiful. I bought the book and read it in two days and then found myself compelled to call a local therapeutic riding center to see if they could use another volunteer to help with the children. The answer was of course, yes – please come – and I did. And my life was transformed.

I learned how horses have an incredible ability to bring out the best in us. The children gained confidence and learned that despite their disabilities – they were capable, courageous, and resilient. Some found laughter for the first time in their young lives on the backs of their four-legged friends. It was magical.

Once I made friends with this amazing species I was hooked. At the age of 56 I was taking weekly riding lessons, making new friends, competing in local horse shows and just having fun. I wanted to learn everything about horses – their care, how to ride well, what they needed or wanted from us as humans. The horses had not only captured my heart, they entwined themselves around my very soul. And the day came, as it inevitably comes for all horse people – when I decided I wanted one to call my own.

It was a valiant attempt. I rode everything that came my way. I tried at least 4 times to purchase my dream horse to no avail. Each had a medical issue that made it unsuitable. I didn’t understand. And then, life events caused me to sell my home and I moved to Texas. Little did I know at the time that the universe was responding to my wish. I found my dream horse within a month of moving here.  

To people who have no experience with horses, it’s difficult to explain the allure of riding an unpredictable, 1200 pound, high-energy animal. You feel powerful but vulnerable. You’re calm but your heart is pounding. Your goal is to become one with your horse – feeling each pounding hoof as if it’s your own, as you dance around the arena, leaving the world behind. For the intelligent, compassionate equestrian, each ride is a great ride – whether or not you achieve a particular movement - because you know that tomorrow you’ll ride again.

I heard a small child once say to his little puppy, “you smell like love.” I never forgot that, because to me – my horse smells like love. Hay and sweet feed smell like love. Leather smells like love. A freshly cut field smells like love. Being this close to the raw beauty of nature is quite intoxicating. This is where peace, love, and grace quietly reside and wait patiently for your arrival.

If I’m dreaming, I don’t want to wake up – unless of course there are horses there too. You see, I’ve discovered that horses love everyone – even women of a certain age.  

Riding the Wind

There are days when, even though the sun is shining, rain drops fall from my eyes for no specific reason. A profound sadness wraps around me like a stifling shroud blurring my sight and suffocating my heart.  

I have so much to be grateful for – and I am. I am in good health, I have a warm, loving and supportive family, I’m employed, and I have great friends. I can travel every now and then to see new places and meet new people. I have an inquisitive mind, creative abilities, and a crazy passion for horses. So lucky am I to be the caretaker of one very special equine (I would never say I own him, how can one say they own unbridled freedom or own the wind?) And yet…. there is something missing. And try as I might, I just can’t put my finger on it.

Perhaps it’s a need to do meaningful work – being able to put my skills and my passion together into something that can truly make a difference. Or maybe it’s simply frustration that comes from thinking I should have accomplished so much more by this point in my life.

How does one break free from the mundane to accomplish the miraculous? Others have done it, but I can find no road map for my journey. The brambles have overtaken the paths of others so I must create my own. And that is how it should be.

Somehow I trust it will all come together and I will fulfill whatever destiny the Divine has for me.

I will always be a seeker – a dreamer – a solitary soul searching for some kind of Holy Grail that is always, mysteriously out of reach. A confused Don Quixote looking for his Dulcinea. 

On nights like this, I head to the barn where I can always find solace, a welcoming nicker, and a warm muzzle on my shoulder. In this simple, miraculous place I find the courage I thought I had lost. I ride the wind under a glorious full moon that lights the way. And once again , I am complete. I am me. I am unstoppable.

Lifting the Veil

At this time next week, I'll be exploring the countryside in Costa Rica with my daughter, her fiancee, friends and family. I'm told we will be trekking through the jungle for a few days, rapelling down waterfalls, and staying in a hotel across from a live volcano. It all sounds pretty exotic and a little like an Indiana Jones movie to me but I'm ready for the adventure with my hiking shoes, hydration system and insect repellant. At the end of what may be an arduous journey for some of us is the object of our quest. No it isn't the fountain of youth (although that would be a nice bonus for me!) or a chest filled with sparkling jewels - it is the most precious gift of love. My little girl is getting married to her beloved at a sunset ceremony on the beach.

Now I questioned why we were all going about this the hard way - instead of flying in and relaxing at the beautiful little boutique hotel near the beach - we are taking the long way in from the capital through the jungle and quite possibly getting blisters and breaking beautifully manicured nails in the process. But it's a beautiful plan and an amazing opportunity for mom and her baby girl to experience something beautiful and magical together before the next chapter in our lives begins. We will in essence be lifting the veil of of our everyday lives to witness the incredible diversity and beauty of the natural world - much like my daugther will be lifting her veil a few days later to begin a new chapter in her life.  Our little band of adventurers will weave its way through this tropical wilderness among the colorful birds, brilliant flowers, graceful waterfalls and playful monkeys for three days, witnesses to the beauty and bounty offered by mother earth to all its creatures.  This little journey will change each of us in a fundamental way - connecting us with nature and with each other as we create memories that will last a lifetime.

Love will greet us and surround us all with its brilliance when we finally arrive at the beachside hotel - with family and friends joining us for a joyful wedding celebration that will be as beautiful as it is unique.

As my daughter prepares to lift the veil, I wish her and her beloved a beautiful, fulfilling life together.

Buen viaje.

I Ain't Settlin'

Time flies. I'm thinking about time today primarily because, whether I want to or not, I am now another year older. And it's one of those monumental anniversaries we tend to dread because assigning these numbers to ourselves makes us feel old.

The strangeness of this only increases when I consider that I don't feel old - at all. In fact, I can't remember when I felt younger or more alive.

I remember clearly my mom telling me once that she no longer recognized the woman looking back at her in the mirror. She told me she still felt like an 18 year old girl. She was 75 at the time. I must be alot like my mom because I'm starting to see that same woman in the mirror. She can't possibly be me - because I still feel like I'm 18.

I also attribute my young-at-heart attitude to my uncompromising sense of adventure (also a gift from my amazing mom). When faced with the possibility of losing my beautiful home to foreclosure due to a  job layoff - I opted to let go and let God. I put my home on the market - and sold it within a month. I then put all my memories and possessions into storage and accepted my sister-in-law's invitation to experience life as a Texan. I made a choice to not be a victim of circumstances but to instead embrace change as a gift and this move as a great adventure. And that has made all the difference. It is of course impossible to imagine what would have happened had I not accepted the invitation to move west. I do however know what I would have missed out on had I wimped out and decided to stay put:

I would have never met the phenomenal people I now count among my closest friends
I would not be sharing my life and having a great time with my loving and supportive sister
I would not have had the privilege of learning to ride my horse from one of the most exceptional coaches I have ever met (she has also become a close friend.)
I would not have found my dream horse
I would have missed out on the beauty and majesty of a Texas sunset
I would probably not be a big fan of country music
I would certainly not be sharing my life with 5 dogs
I would not own, much less wear a collection of cowgirl boots
I would not have had the opportunity to learn how important it is to integrate mind, body and spirit and to figure out how to do it
I would never have experienced the pockets of beauty that a big city keeps hidden from outsiders
And I would still be livinig my small life in a small town with dreams unfulfilled.

What if I had not accepted life's invitation to join in the dance? Well, I'm actually too busy working, mingling, learning, networking, volunteering, riding, exercising, praying, playing with my horse and gazing at the beauty that currently surrounds me to think about it much.

I'm just glad I took action and made the leap. 60? Bring it on baby! I can't wait to see what other surprises life has in store for me. Because of this I am certain - I ain't settlin' for anything less than everything - a truly Texan state of mind!

The trouble with Fairy Tales.

I remember when I was a little girl, I had big dreams. I came from a very modest home with a mom & dad who worked hard to feed and clothe us. There was not much money left over for extravagant purchases - although they always did seem to find the money to make our lives special in so many ways. We were loved and we lacked for nothing that was important. I also remember at some point becoming aware of people and communities that in my mind were wealthy. My dream was to someday live in one of those communities and I remember not only focusing on that - but actually believing it would come true. That I was Cinderalla and would some day find my prince and live in a castle.

There was no money for college and I really didn't have the support system at the time that would help me find the resources to help me get that degree so I went to work right out of high school. I learned alot. Perhaps a college degree would have somehow made my journey easier and more profitable - but looking back, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's.

I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I've been able to use my gift for writing, I have worked for some amazing companies and I've had the joy of working with inspiring mentors. And I feel even greater things await just over the horizon. Life has so much possibility.

I did find that Prince and I did live in the community I had dreamed of as a child - and it was great. For a good long time. But the trouble with fairy tales is that every story comes to an end. The good news is that there is always another book with another story to dream into being. 

I have so many instances of what they now call "the law of attraction" in my life that I truly believe you create your own life - you dream it into being. As one dream is realized, the process of creating something new begins again.  You have the power to make all those molecules swirling around you into a grand dream come true. All it takes is intention, belief, and action.

As Mary Manin Morrissey says, “Don't wait for something big to occur. Start where you are, with what you have, and that will always lead you into something greater.” 

Think. Believe. Do. And watch the magic happen.

Taking Flight.

I am heading East to the place where I was born to visit with my dad. We are in flight. Soaring above the clouds, held up by the simple grace of the Divine.

And so it is with life. We have the power within to fly as high as our dreams will take us. All it takes is just a tiny spark of courage, a belief that anything is possible, and of course, Divine guidance and support. This guidance is always available to us as vessels of Divine energy. But we need to seek it out.


Listen to that still, small voice in your heart. Perhaps it is asking you to leap into the unknown. Know that you will be supported by a loving energy as you try out your new wings. And as you take flight, you will soar to unimaginable heights. You will see wonders you never dreamed possible. You will connect with amazing people who will share their gifts with you - and you will share your gifts with them. And you will be transformed.

Do not be afraid. Life awaits you with open arms. It is waiting for you to give of yourself. To break out of that box you've put yourself in. It will support you every step of the way. I can say that because I know this to be true - it happened to me.

I made that leap a little over a year ago.  I stared into the abyss for a while and decided to explore the darkness. To make the leap so I could see what lay beyond the great unknown. I was curious to be sure and told myself it would be an adventure of a lifetime. And it was all that and more.

For someone on the far side of 50, this was not an easy leap to make. But that still, soft voice deep within my soul urged me on ... and I knew I would be ok. More than ok. I would become someone brand new!

So I jumped into the darkness.

And what did I find? I found a new world that opened its heart to me. I found joy, wisdom, prairies filled with cattle and horses, sunsets that can take your breath away, amazing new friends, crazy new music, cotton growing in the fields, my own special equine best friend. But even more startling, I found that the darkness was really only there so I could light the way with my own special light. And what a magnificent light it's turned out to be. It greets me at dawn and invites me to share in the adventure of a new day. And it melts softly from a fiery sunset into a brillilant field of stars so close you feel you can at last touch them.

My journey into the unknown gently set me down in Texas. It is truly a magical place for me to be at this point in my life.

So do not be afraid. Without change, life cannot exist. If we are to believe what the sages tell us ... we are all just living the dream we create moment by moment. Why not dream in technicolor? Be brave. Surprise yourself. Feel the adrenaline that comes with living life to the fullest. You of all people can do it. Your life will be richer because you not only found your wings - you used them to fly!



There are no demons in the darkness. Only specks of light, each illuminating a new adventure that awaits you. Go ahead. LEAP! Your incredible future awaits.