Riding the Wind

There are days when, even though the sun is shining, rain drops fall from my eyes for no specific reason. A profound sadness wraps around me like a stifling shroud blurring my sight and suffocating my heart.  

I have so much to be grateful for – and I am. I am in good health, I have a warm, loving and supportive family, I’m employed, and I have great friends. I can travel every now and then to see new places and meet new people. I have an inquisitive mind, creative abilities, and a crazy passion for horses. So lucky am I to be the caretaker of one very special equine (I would never say I own him, how can one say they own unbridled freedom or own the wind?) And yet…. there is something missing. And try as I might, I just can’t put my finger on it.

Perhaps it’s a need to do meaningful work – being able to put my skills and my passion together into something that can truly make a difference. Or maybe it’s simply frustration that comes from thinking I should have accomplished so much more by this point in my life.

How does one break free from the mundane to accomplish the miraculous? Others have done it, but I can find no road map for my journey. The brambles have overtaken the paths of others so I must create my own. And that is how it should be.

Somehow I trust it will all come together and I will fulfill whatever destiny the Divine has for me.

I will always be a seeker – a dreamer – a solitary soul searching for some kind of Holy Grail that is always, mysteriously out of reach. A confused Don Quixote looking for his Dulcinea. 

On nights like this, I head to the barn where I can always find solace, a welcoming nicker, and a warm muzzle on my shoulder. In this simple, miraculous place I find the courage I thought I had lost. I ride the wind under a glorious full moon that lights the way. And once again , I am complete. I am me. I am unstoppable.